Kill Grandma

Will Bond

Kill Grandma

“Are we bad people?”

Julie was thrown off by this question from her brother. “No, this doesn’t make us bad,” she responded. “We’re just speeding up a process that nature would have taken care of anyway.” She had a tone of uncertainty in her voice.

Ben felt uneasy. “But she isn’t dying of anything-”

“Old age.”

“People don’t die of old age in their 70s,” Ben claimed, “…Do they?”

Julie stopped to think. “Um, I think they probably do,” she replied, still unsure. “Look,” she said, with slightly more confidence, “the pros far outweigh the cons here. It’s practically a win-win situation.”

Ben’s tone turned sour. “I’m sorry,” he snapped, “how exactly is it a win for Grandma? I wouldn’t consider getting murdered a win, Julie.”

“Murder is such a strong word,” Julie retorted. “Let’s say we’re putting her out of her misery.”

“Is she in misery, though?” Ben replied. “She’s a sweet old lady, and clearly she loves us a whole lot to leave us so much money in her will.”

“But that’s exactly why this is a great idea!” Julie exclaimed. “She wants to give us that money. That’s why it’s in her will in the first place.” Ben looked unconvinced. “She’ll be happy up in Heaven knowing that we got the money. We’ll use it to pay college tuition, she’ll love that.”

Ben sighed. He knew how much they both needed the money, and it seemed like this was the only way to get it. “Ok, fine. But how do we go about doing this? Because I’m not going to stab Grandma.”

“Of course we’re not going to stab Grandma!” Julie exclaimed, disgusted. “That’s insane! We’re not going to ‘murder’ her, we’re going to ensure that she passes away peacefully in her sleep.”

“And how do we do that?” Ben asked. “We can’t just make her die by sheer willpower, we have to do something.”

Julie replied, “I know, I’ve already thought of that. We’ll just slip her a few too many sleeping pills. That should knock her out into a nice, peaceful sleep and she just won’t ever wake up.”

The reality of the situation began setting on Ben. “Dude…” he said under his breath, “this is seriously messed up.”

“Come on, Ben,” Julie implored, “Grandma’s 74. What does she have to look forward to? Being 80?” She was clearly losing Ben now, so she tried to reassure him. “I know it’s a difficult situation, but it’s too perfect not to pass up. We both know mom and dad are kicking us out as soon as we graduate. We need the money so we can afford college, and we need this house or else we’ll be homeless.” Ben looked up at his sister, clearly distressed. Julie continued, “It’s messed up, sure, but it’s for the best.”

Ben thought for a moment before speaking up. “Look, I’m on board,” he said quietly, “but I’m not going to be the one to do it. That’s up to you.”

Julie nodded in understanding. “As long as you don’t say anything and back me up, okay?” she said. “Promise me.” Julie reached her hand out to her brother. Ben slowly reached out to her as well. They shook hands and sealed the pact.

“Great!” Julie said with a smile. “Now let’s make some money.”

Julie grabbed a knife from the silverware drawer in her grandmother’s kitchen. She then grabbed turkey, lettuce, and cheese from the fridge and layered them on a slice of wheat bread. Her brother approached her from behind and tapped her shoulder, startling her. “Hey,” he whispered, “I got the pills from the medicine cabinet.”

The sister took the pills and dumped them onto the counter. She saved two and began crushing the rest with the handle of the knife until they were a gritty powder. She then mixed the powder in with mayonnaise and spread it on the second slice of bread. “This should do it, right? There’s like 10 Ambien in the sandwich, and there’s the two she normally takes.”

Ben shrugged. “Sorry, I’m not aware of the exact amount of Ambien to takes to kill someone.” Julie rolled her eyes. “Alright, let’s just do this.”

Julie picked up the plate with the sandwich, and Ben grabbed the two pills and a glass of water. The two of them nervously walked to their grandmother’s bedroom and knocked on the door. They heard a cheerful “Come in!” and entered the room.

“Hi Grandma,” Julie said, trying her best to sound cheerful. “We brought you your pills and a little snack.”

“How lovely!” exclaimed Grandma. “That looks delicious!”

Julie forced a smile as she brought over the sandwich and placed it on the bedside table. Ben, staring at the ground, handed the water and pills to Julie, who in turn handed them to her grandmother. Grandma took her pills as usual, and then smiled at her grandchildren. “Thank you for all your help today, kids. It was so sweet of you to come visit your old grandmother.”

“Happy to help, Grandma,” Julie replied, still holding her smile. Ben just nodded and stared at the ground. Julie continued, “Well, we should be going now. Goodnight, Grandma!”

“Goodnight you two!” the grandmother responded. “Love you both!”

The two grandchildren just nodded and said, “Yeah, you too,” then turned and left.  Ben kept his head hung in shame on the walk back to the car. Julie tried to reassure him. “Listen,” she stated, “Grandma’s going to a better place. And now we have a solid future ahead of us.”

Ben sighed. “I know,” he muttered. “I just feel like this makes us bad people.”

Julie shrugged. “Maybe it does,” she said, “but we’re two bad people with a ton of money and our own house.”

“And a college education,” added Ben.

“Yeah, that too.”

They arrived at the car and got in. Julie started the engine and said aloud, “Goodnight, Grandma.” Then they drove home without saying a word.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see her dead body.”

Ben and Julie stood outside their Grandma’s front door. Julie scoffed, “Fine, you don’t have to go inside. I’ll just go in and check her pulse, then I’ll call 911.”

Ben looked anxious. “Can I just wait in the car?” Julie glared at him and knocked on the door. She paused and waited for an answer. Nothing. She knocked again, this time more forcefully. “Can’t we just walk in?” Ben asked. Julie shook her head. “Give it time,” she said.

Suddenly, to both of their surprise, the door swung open. The two of them jumped back in shock at the sight of their grandmother, holding her will and an empty pill bottle.